I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
