he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
