just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
