i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
