Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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