just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
