He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
