so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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