Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
