Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize