What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
