but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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