yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
