idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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