is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize