She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
