if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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