She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize