Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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