At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
