Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
