I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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