plz talk dirty to me
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize