it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
