So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
