I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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