That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
