Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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