No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
