this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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