yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
