white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
