If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
