well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
