Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize