there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
