so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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