so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
