bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
