I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
