Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
