saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Your penis caused this!
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