small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
