Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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