what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
