but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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