pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
