Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
