how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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