We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
