This is not my ceiling
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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