Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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