Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
