New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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