3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
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