you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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