In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
