Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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