How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
