she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
