he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
