I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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