i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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