Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
false alarm. still invincible.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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