If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
