Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
