Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Let's get the cat blown out
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
