you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
