Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Who did Billy Mays play for?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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